I Choose

"...choose this day whom you will serve...”
Joshua 24:15

Today I had a choice to make. Actually I had several but one in particular sticks out. Because I'm a thinker I thought about which choice would be better. Should I say and do exactly what I would usually say and do? I asked myself. My natural inclination was to rely on habit. I could react first, and ask forgiveness later. Hmmmm, that sounds like a good idea. I hesitated. Then thought some more.

I literally saw myself making one choice, and the reaction I would get from it, then making the total opposite choice and seeing that reaction in my mind as well. I was amazed by the power human beings have to choose. For a moment I had forgotten about the choice I needed to make, and instead focused on the freedom I had to choose. It was liberating to say the least. I understood deeply that my life only belongs to feelings or emotions if I choose to give myself over to them. And if that is true, then my life only belongs to reason and compassion if I choose to give myself over to them.

Now, I know you're waiting to read that I made the perfect choice and everything worked out well. That's what Hollywood is for. This blog is real. Even though I use general happenings in my life and leave certain details out, it's real nonetheless. No, maybe I didn't make the best decision, but I did make a better one. I chose to be as mature as possible, given my personal shortcomings and human characteristics. In spite of my issues, I chose to satisfy my desire to be understood with my greater desire to understand. To take my confusion, hurt, disappointment and give it to God first, so He could help me internalize it, make sense of it and see exactly what He was doing in the midst of my situation. Did it make the job of choosing go away? No. But because I used my power to reason, and have compassion, I saw myself becoming who God made me instead of who I have always been.

I choose. Do you?



Build,

Nakeia